John and I are nicely in synch when it comes to most things ... finances, fashion, goals, other things I can't think of just now. However, we part ways on occasion when it comes to parenting technique... Some of his more interesting ideas I have not adopted ...
- Big Bad Wolf: a recent parenting invention and a real gem ... if you (child) do something he (daddy) doesn't like, "a wolf will come and eat you up". The wolf is especially sensitive to poor manners like crying and nose picking. He especially likes to eat children who disobey, refuse to nap or who are messy when eating dinner. If you, child, happen to be disobeying while out with parent, daddy, daddy likes to loudly ponder dropping you, child, "off in the woods" so the big bad wolf can find you and take you to his house. Once there, he will then probably eat you for dinner. John even fields phone calls from this terrible creature (known by a "bark bark" ringtone). The conversations are amusing to an unthreatened third party:
John ... hello? Wolf? Yes, they are both here.
Wolf ...
John ... Well Ava is sleeping so don't come to eat her, but Claire is here and wide awake ...
Wolf ...
John ... Ok, great! So five or so minutes? See you then!
Me ... You are hopelessly diluting your parental authority
- Swats to stop crying: Another interesting parenting approach involving inflicting swats to diaper padded bottoms to stop bottom owner from crying. The surprising thing is how poorly this works!
- I don't like you anymore and other sweet nothings: There are times when you may displease John and he is at a loss regarding how to punish you ... the wolf is out, it is too hot to swat. These specific and tricky situations often arise from hurt feelings ...
John ...Claire, who is your favorite, mommy or daddy
Claire ... Mommy
Me ... JOHN! We don't have to have favorites in this family, we are brimming with love
John ... Claire, you said daddy?
Claire ... No, Mommy
John ... Well then! I don't like you any more. I like Ava.
Me ... John! Oh forget it.
Me ... Claire, daddy likes you very much, he is just ...
I am Public Relations director for the one of the world's most PR resistant figures. Daddy is tired, Daddy is trying to concentrate, daddy doesn't understand little girls, daddy is ... Chinese? In any case, I think by the time he gets around to the seventh or eighth child, he won't be so out of his depth. If you are interested in adopting earlier versions, act now! Children are going fast!!!
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
Well, I love John. Quirky John. Odd John. Culturally non-adapted John. In many ways; yeah, tho I repeat it, many ways John is a far advanced human specimen. Many ways but tere are some gaps. Some lack of basics. So far as the wolf, small children will come to know that Big Bad Wolf is in New Jersy, doing time, waiting to be ransferred to Git-mo when space comes available.Dad
ReplyDeleteDear Atom,
ReplyDeleteThis is common folk rearing in Romania too, in the country! My grandfather on my dad's side used it on my sister and me. We've only stayed with these grandparents while little girls and on rare occasions, but I remember my grandpa's threats like it was yesterday... My sister came home from our first visit one winter, and asked my mom if it was true... My Mom said it wasn't true, but the big gypsy man was (true), and he was watching us, ready to pick up and tie down in his big sack any disobeying little girls he sees, and to snatch them away from home... :) Now THAT was scary!
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
ReplyDelete