John

Yes, this is to be the post about John, Hui John Zhang, the man I married. I am dedicating it to him because he is such an important part of my life. If you read about him only in passing in other posts, you may come away with the wrong impression, that he is less than he is. So here it goes ...I'm not actually sure where to start so let me dig through an old diary to read my description of him soon after we first met ...

Ah yes, so at the risk of making your eyes roll ... yes but wait ... first, some context about the author. I was 33 years old, working 12 hour days at JP Morgan. My colleagues were no longer talking of setting me up, perhaps because they had had time to detect the ways in which I maybe wasn't a perfect catch. And their lists of single friends were dwindling. I had broken up with a very nice guy 1.5 years previous (I decided I could do better) and had totally lost track of time. I hadn't had a date since then and had been too busy to notice. I was a machine, waking up at 4:30am every weekday morning to take the subway to Water Street station. I arrived at the "New York Health and Racquet Club" every morning at 5:30am and stood outside waiting for it to open with a handful of other people with exercise issues. This handful included some odd, some old, none interesting. The stockbrokers I worked out with in the mornings were old and married or players. They approached me occasionally while I worked out to compliment me on various muscle groups. I know! Anyway, it was not a great environment to meet men but I relied heavily on the creepy guy compliments to get me from one workout to the next.

Times were dire. I was working working working and then working out. I lived a secluded life with occasional social interaction with friends from work. So when I met John, my sepia life was instantly full of color. My glowing assessment ...

(dated 6.27.05)
Last year, nearly this same time (July 7th) I met the love of my life, a most wonderful man. A man among men, really and my favorite person. I can't explain how I adore him. John ... isn't that the most amazing name? He is everything I ever hoped to find: strong, sweet, kind, loyal, brilliant, funny, handsome and in charge. He has incredible (underlined) eyes and a dimple on one cheek (smiley face). He has an elegant hold of himself, always looking sophisticated somehow no matter what he is wearing. I think that the word "gentile" does a nice job describing John. He is well spoken and well respected.

It goes on from there, entry after entry about this amazing amazing man. Before those of you who know my incredible husband, begin to dispute areas of my list, let me say that the road from glowing journal entries to sour blog posts is a short one. One's flaws and virtues are only visible under the glaring light of Real Life. My list of his qualities was incomplete, missing some important ones like generosity and perseverance. Time and marriage have revealed him more completely to me. I see that all of those things that attracted me to him in those earliest days are not just on the surface, that they run very very deep and that I can count on him to remain himself no matter the circumstances. He apologizes when he is wrong, he is dedicated to an ideal of fairness like no one else I know. Because of him, we run what I like to call "to the extent possible, a fair household". Most importantly, he loves me!!!

We've done a lot in our few years together ... we moved across the world (twice), I had a stroke, we are new parents, I stopped working, he's been laid off, we bought a house, his dad is dealing with poor health and dimentia, we are starting a business. These things have all shaken our little foundation, but in the end, I know they will only make us stronger. With John, I feel really really strong ... I shout at life "BRING IT!"

If my girls find a man like their daddy, I will rejoice!